Tinted Glass
by DigiExpert
Summary: Kimberly goes on a surprise visit to an old friend at Jason's insistence. What had promised to be an afternoon of chatting and catching up, turned into a life or death situation. Kimberly must make a decision...Oneshot [femslash]


**So last night I had a very strong urge to write a good angst piece. I had the urge, but no ideas. However, Sierra (dthstlkr69) gave me the idea for this fic. Her prompt:**

**"Kimberly decides to visit Katherine and finds the blonde ready to give up with the simple slice of a blade."**

**The following story is the result, which I am very pleased with. Please enjoy. As usual, I own nothing.  
**

**Warning: Hints of femslash. Don't like, don't read. You were warned. **

**Tinted Glass**

She hummed softly to herself, as she was prone to do these days, and made her way up the three flights of stairs. The elevator was out and so she'd had to take the stairwell, climbing up three grimy flights. It wasn't exactly the model picture for an apartment complex, but then again, no one ever really used the stairs, not when the elevator was quicker. She tried to ignore the sticky railings and the dusty window that was placed along each floor. What had happened in this stairwell, the walls would never tell. A sigh of relief crossed her lips as she reached the third floor and pulled open the door, entering into a hallway of hunter green carpeting mixed with an ugly pea green wallpaper. It screamed of no taste, and the gold-plated light fixtures that were placed at varying intervals didn't help.

She moved a hand to her jacket pocket, fingers rummaging for something in particular. Jason had given her the information she needed and so she had made the journey. If she hadn't talked to him, she'd have had no idea that she was so close to her old friend. She hadn't seen her in years, but was delighted to find that she could catch up like old times. Jason had asked her to make it a surprise visit. "_She's down on her luck, Kim. She really needs a bit of sunshine in her life. It's not been good to her_" she remembered Jason distinctly commenting. Fingers clasped around the desired object and she pulled a piece of folded notebook paper from her pocket. Unfolding it she was met with Jason's familiar scrawl in black ink. _Apt. 317_ immediately jumped off the page at her. It was exactly the place she was looking for.

Shoes padded along the hallway as she looked for the desired door, finding it not far from the stairwell. Once more she looked at the notebook paper, making sure the 317 on the door was the exact same as what was written down. It was, of course, and so she slipped the paper back into her jacket pocket, jangling her keys as she did so. One more glance up at the door before taking a deep breath. She was nervous; something in the air didn't feel right, but she chalked that up to nerves. It had been years since she'd last seen her, not since the letter. Slowly, Kimberly had been bringing those back into her life that she had kicked out all those years ago. Silly teenage drama was in the past, and she'd matured beyond that point.

In a somewhat quiet manner, she rapped on the oaken door. It was probably the best looking part of the hallway. _At least they got something right_ thought Kimberly as she waited for an answer. Seconds passed, and soon turned into a minute without an answer. _Maybe she's not home_ Kimberly wondered to herself as she knocked again. It was the middle of the day, but Jason hadn't mentioned anything about a job. No answer came again and Kimberly was ready to go, but first she pressed her ear to the door. Classical music drifted lightly to her ear, the tune soothing and gently. It seemed strange that music would be left playing if the owner was not at home and Jason had said there were no roommates, no boyfriend. Nothing. Jason hadn't known much, but he'd been able to give Kimberly a quick rundown. It was enough to take her this far.

Kimberly's hand rested against the door knob, giving it a slow, cautious twist. If it didn't budge she'd know that Katherine wasn't home. If it budged then something was up. Kimberly frowned when the knob turned easily in her hand. Now came the hard decision: leave or enter the apartment. It was a tough choice. Of course, if she left she could always come back later. If she entered the apartment, that was legally breaking and entering. She couldn't make up her mind. Her gut feeling though, was to enter. For some reason, she felt she should, but couldn't explain why. Gently, cautiously, she pushed the door opening and crept inside, feeling like some criminal for her actions.

As soon as she was inside, she quickly scanned the room. The walls were of a creamy off-white, the carpet the same. A very plainly decorated room, with a few pieces of tan furniture to match the color scheme. Dull and drab came to mind for Kimberly. She saw photos on top of the television set, noticing that Katherine was featured in a great deal of them. She now knew she was in the right place, but she still didn't know where Katherine was. The music was coming from the back of the apartment and so Kimberly made her way there. There wasn't very far to go; the place itself was small and Kimberly only saw two doors in the tiny hallway. One was closed, and she took this for the bathroom. The other, which had the classical music drifting through the slightly cracked door, had to be the bedroom. Kimberly moved to the bedroom door, listening for a few seconds. She didn't know if she should intrude or not, but she gently pushed the door open and peeked inside. Her stomach jumped to her throat when she saw the scene before her.

She grabbed the bottle of wine, a half empty bottle of pinot noir, and a long stemmed goblet and proceeded to make her way to the bedroom. This was it, and there was no turning back. She'd made up her mind and wasn't going to chicken out, again. A bit of wine for the occasion would help greatly. She downed the glass in a few gulps before pouring another. She moved to the dresser, setting the bottle down on top as she reached for the stack of CDs that sat nearby on her desk. Something soothing would do very nicely and her eyes rested on a classical CD, one featuring Brahm. It would do at least and the plastic case was opened, CD removed. Soon, the soft music filling the room and made its way to her ears. She slowly swayed back and forth, glass of wine still in hand. She planned this out now, trying to find the best way to make sure things happened the way she wanted them to, no troubles at all.

Her brain became clouded as she downed her third glass of wine and things seemed to move slowly. A drunken smile played on her lips. This was going to be easy. Nothing to it. After all, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be a popular choice of dying for teenagers or so she thought. She moved to the bed, sitting. The music enveloped her outer body, the wine her inner. The two agents caressed and massaged her soul, prepared her for what was to come. In reality, she was using both as an excuse to put off the task ahead, but she wanted to make sure that things happened as planned. There must be a plan, there needed to always be. That's what Joanne had always said to her at least. She scoffed at the thought of the girl. Joanne, the one who'd used her to get her desired needs and then moved her. Joanne, who had a passion for blondes. Joanne, who she'd given her entire body to. That Joanne had once been her entire life, but not anymore. Joanne had received her fill, and moved on, but not before causing enough hell in Katherine's life.

The mere thought was enough to anger Katherine. Love was a delicate thing and she'd once believed in such a frivolous thing, but never again. In a bout of sudden anger she hurled the wine glass at the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces, watching the red wine trails flow down the creamy walls. A satisfied smirk crossed her face and she bent over, reaching for the piece of glass from the stem of the goblet. It was sharp and still smooth around it's edges, and a good inch in length. The jagged pieces called, beckoning Katherine to implement them, use them to her own desires and wants. She twirled the piece between her fingers before finally taking a firm grip on the end.

It was a slow beginning, perhaps a preparation for the final ending, as though telling a story in a ballet. The stem was the dancer, her arms the stage, the movements the story. There would be one final scene, the tragedy. To have the ending, she must have the story and so she traced patterns on her arms, watching the crimson liquid appear in specks and lines. She controlled the storyline for once. She was not the dancer, the one manipulated. No, she was the director and she created the story as she wanted. Criss-cross here, a slash there. The tip of the stem was coated in her own life source, her own blood, yet it did not disgust her. She was tired of it and yearned to see more of the crimson liquid emerge. Here the music heightened, became louder and she knew what came next.

In a sudden urge she stripped off her shirt, flinging it aside. Then, the stem cut across her stomach in one fluid movement, leaving a deep gash behind. Pain pricked at her brain, but was dulled by the alcohol. Instead of flashes, all she felt was a dull ache. That's when she heard it—her bedroom door being pushed open, someone intruding on her private story. She turned her head and glared coldly at the intruder, bloodied stem in hand. No words were needed to carry out the meaning she felt. She raised the stem to her wrist, laid it against her veins there. She knew that all it would take was a few deep gashes and she could be freed.

In a way it could be called the fastest she'd ever moved in her life, faster than any of the runs she'd made for the vaulting event even. She didn't even have a chance to react before her feet carried her across the room, her hands grabbing the offensive piece of glass from Katherine's hand. It didn't phase the woman, who instead bent over to get another piece of glass. Kimberly blocked her path.

"Move," Katherine stated coldly.

"No," replied Kimberly.

Katherine slapped Kimberly hard across the left cheek. Tears stung at Kimberly's eyes, threatening to fall, but she still stayed where she was. It was crucial that she did, crucial that she stopped this before it had a chance to go any further. "What do you think you're doing? Trying to save me? Do you think I'm some damsel in distress? This isn't a teenage fantasy, Kimberly. Let me die."

"No," replied Kimberly again, and she pushed Katherine back onto the bed, away from the glass shards on the floor.

Katherine tried to force Kimberly off of her, but the petite girl would not let up. Her grip was strong, but Katherine still struggled against her. Struggling meant she could get the glass. Struggling meant she could find freedom. Struggling meant peace inside. "Let me die, Kimberly. You can't be Tommy. He couldn't save you, he couldn't save me, and you're not going to try to take his place and save me."

It was Kimberly's turn to glare at Katherine in anger. "Let me tell you something. Your problems can't be solved through suicide. I'm not trying to be Tommy, Kat. I'm trying to be a friend and help you."

"If you wanted to be my friend you wouldn't have walked out on everyone all those years ago. You wouldn't have broken contact, leaving a broken heart to mend for what would never be."

"I did what I thought was best then. Yes, I broke Tommy's heart. Yes, I hurt my friends. I know I did wrong and I'm not going to say it was right, but I—"

"I wasn't talking about Tommy," hissed Katherine. "I was talking about myself." She glared coldly into Kimberly's eyes, sensing the fear that lurked there. The pupils widened, just as she expected. At least she could toy with Kimberly's emotions before she died. After all, it had been done to her. Revenge was sweet, yes, very sweet indeed.

Kimberly's mind registered Katherine's words, and her eyes widened in response. Katherine had loved her and Kimberly had never known, never suspected. She shook her head to clear her mind. She had to focus. If she left now, Katherine would finish the job she'd started and kill herself. Kimberly had to stay and fight with Katherine before her inner demon took her down. Kimberly looked back into Katherine's eyes. "I'm not leaving again," she stated firmly. "I came here to see you. I didn't say I could make amends for my actions in the past, but I could start putting things right again."

"Why put things right now, hmm? You think you can just waltz back into people's lives and think they'll welcome you with open arms? Do you see my open arms? See how they bleed for you?" Katherine smiled sadistically.

Kimberly's hands reached for Katherine's wrists, ignoring the blood that lay there. She kept a tight grip, not letting go. "I'm not letting go and I'm not leaving. So you can tell me you want to die as much as you like, but it won't stop me. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you were loved in return?" She said it before she even realized it had escaped the deep recesses of her brain.

"You think you can lie to me? You think I'll believe such a silly lie and stop my plan just like that? You are lying, Kimberly. You can't stand to think of me dying and you being the one who couldn't stop me. Face it. You can't be a knight in shining armor."

Kimberly's voice came out barely above a whisper. "I'm not lying to you. I do love you and have for a long time, but you want to die so I should leave you to your own devices." Her grip lightened and she moved away from Katherine, and off the bed. "If you ever wanted to believe anything, you should start believing now." She turned and didn't look back and forced herself to walk toward the open bedroom door. She was determined not to look back. Before she knew it, she was in the hallway again, hanging on to a hope that was quickly fading with every footstep away from the bedroom.

Katherine watched Kimberly go, not moving, not saying a word. Her mind was reeling with what Kimberly had said and wanted to think it was a lie, was trying to force herself to believe it was a lie. However her heart was beginning to overpower what her brain was telling her and she rose from the bed, going purely on instinct, not knowing what she would do next. She walked toward the door slowly and peeked around, seeing if Kimberly had left. Instead, she found Kimberly curled up on the couch, sobbing quietly. Katherine looked at herself, her stomach, her arms. What had once been her driving force was something that disgusted her.

She crept slowly toward the couch, not speaking, just moving. She moved until she was only a few feet away from Kimberly. "Kim?" she whispered softly.

Kimberly looked up, face stained with tears. She was surprised to see Katherine standing before her, calling out to her. She sniffled and nodded to Katherine. "Yes?"

Katherine moved forward, taking a seat by Kimberly and turning to face her. "Kim, I…" she trailed, not knowing what to say. What could she say? She couldn't hide the fact that she had been trying to kill herself, couldn't just brush it all aside. The urge was still there, placed aside for now. Who was to say it wouldn't return again? Her fingers traced the drying blood on her stomach and she looked down, avoiding the look of sadness in Kimberly's eyes. She felt arms embrace her gently and her final guard dropped as she began to cry. She heard Kimberly begin to cry again and the two of them cried together, Kimberly still holding Katherine.

It was minutes before any of them could control their sobbing, but Kimberly was the first to regain control of her emotions. She looked over at the woman that she kept her arms around, the one whose grip on life had been slipping fast. She didn't want to think of the possible scenarios that could have happened if she had not chosen this particular day, this particular time to visit. It had been sheer luck that had brought her here and she had had one last chance to help Katherine out. She wouldn't walk away again, not this time, not ever. She contemplated what she could say, what would even make sense to say, when Katherine shifted in her arms and looked up at her. "Kim, I… there's nothing I can say. I did what I felt was right. I'm not sorry and I'm not going to say it won't happen again." Kimberly nodded, slowly letting this sink in. "I don't want your pity or sympathy. If you want to give me something, give me your friendship." She looked up at Kimberly, waiting for an answer.

Kimberly had been nodding as Katherine talked, listening, letting Katherine pour out her thoughts. "I'll give you my friendship, Katherine, but you've always had that. I was just never there to be your friend as I should have been. I'll give you my friendship, but in return you must try not to commit suicide again."

"All right," replied Katherine, going silent. She had nothing else to say; she'd made her point.

Kimberly looked off toward the door, her mind processing too many thoughts at the same time. It wasn't going to be an easy task, but no one ever said life was going to be easy. She'd been brought here to rekindle a friendship and to save the one person she would have least suspected to try to commit suicide. Her fingers traced along Katherine's arms, finding the fresh wounds there, but she didn't pull back. Time could heal all wounds, but it couldn't heal the pain so easily. Wounds were easily masked, as was the pain. However, the pain would soon leave, but the emotional turmoil would always be felt, long after the situation had passed. She wouldn't leave Katherine to fight her battles alone. No one could take on that task. She sighed and rested her head against Katherine's. "I won't walk out again," she whispered. "I'll stay with you instead."

**Please leave some feedback. It is much appreciated.**


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